Q.) I've been working on my issues for years and nothing seems to work, or I think it does, then I feel I'm stuck again. I feel so damaged. How can you help me?
A.) I understand. This is such a normal belief in the process of healing. There are two skills that might help you. The first is to understand that judging in itself is a very powerful skill and it is that judging that keeps you from seeing your own wholeness and acknowledging it. We are unbalanced with our perspective of seeing our wholeness.
So often we're attached to the belief that there is something wrong with us and the mind that is so skilled in judging, will keep a running list how that is true. We have to balance it out. First by learning the skills of comfort and discernment.
We get so much support for the belief that there is something wrong with us in the world. Many therapeutic practices operate from that perspective.
I believe that coaching is about accepting your wholeness. Most of my clients have been through a lot of methodologies based on a premise that something in you needs to be fixed or healed. Well, what if there isn't? What if there isn't anything wrong with you at all? The skill that is needed is the practice of self-acceptance of your wholeness . This is a practice indeed. Repetition is the mastery of every skill. You just have more practice judging yourself negatively.
What if you didn't diagnose or judge yourself and accepted where you are right now as amazing? What if there really was nothing wrong with you -and there never was?
Try to go there with me on this. What if the truth was that it was impossible for you to be damaged by any situation? I believe a soul is never touched by any human. It is the core of my innocence and nothing can ever damage it.
What if, yes, you were hurt, and hurt bad....but it's impossible to become damaged? This is pretty radical thinking.
Listen, most of us could find proof of how we were damaged as children, or from relationships. We have years of behavior that proves it or stories of those that have abused us. I personally have police reports, hospital reports and child services reports to prove the thought that I am damaged. I had therapists for years tele I was damaged by my to prove we were damaged by someone, or some situation. I have them. For years I operated from that premise because those were the tools that I was taught. We're all given skills, but not the skills we have usually identified as skills.
Self hatred is a learned skill. Victimization is a learned skill. Blame and judgment are learned skills. Hopelessness is a learned skill.
Shame is the mother of all the painful learned skills.
Time for some new skills. Skills that will bring you to your truth. Your authentic needs met without
Yes, you are special, unique and perfect. Everything you want, you already have except one thing - permission.
Permission is a skill that enables you to find the right answer by asking the right question.
My coaching serves your specialness and uniqueness to flourish unlike any methods you've ever hear of or experienced. Head on over to the Transform link above to read a bit about what you can expect.
I'm also going to answer some of the questions that often arise regarding the transformations that happen.
WHY DO YOU HAVE SUCCESS WITH YOUR CLIENTS? Nothing removes the blocks of depression, fear and wounds more than finally accepting within your own heart and soul that you deserve to be valued, acknowledged, encouraged, safe and wanted.
But here's the thing.
Deserving is an actual skill. So few of us have learned this skill and don't even actually realize it is a skill.
But think about it. Who teaches us? No one.
Deserving allows you to thrive in every area in your life.
It means you become a person conscious of your authentic needs and knows how to meet them authentically.
You turn into a great leader because you are accountable to your vision and capable of clarity in expressing what needs to be done.
You can fall madly in love because you aren't expecting someone else to give you what you already have, and you know how to ask for what you want -honestly.
You become a better friend, family member and a much happier partner. Your self-care explodes organically. You want to take care of yourself.
You learn another skill; permission to stop hating yourself for hating yourself.
WHAT? Yep. Permission is a great skill that comes with deserving. And here's why.
Guess what is the polar opposite of deserving ?
Can you guess?
It's guilt. Guilt is the opposite of deserving. Guilt sets up the inner reaction that you're not safe, because it means you'll be punished, and that sets up fear.
And man, is that fear a killjoy. It's job is to keep you small. It tells you not to speak up, settle for less and deny each and every one of your wants, needs and desires.
It's why you walk away from the book you want to write, not charge more for your services. It's why you can't lose the weight. Can't find a relationship that nurtures you. It's why you keep giving up.
And, to top it all off, you feel guilty for your fear, for your failures, for your guilt. It just doesn't stop.
You feel guilty for hating yourself.
You feel guilty for not being happy.
Let me share something with you that might help. I have been mentoring and coaching men and women for decades and this is the core beneath every issue. It manifests in every single area of life.
Once you learn how to give yourself the permission to deserve - and you authentically meet your integrity based needs and desires, you feel so empowered and all that fear and guilt and stuck-ness.. transforms and you can consistently use them as the jumping off place to your new superpowers.
Nothing can hold you back once you tap into Deserving and Permission.
Not loneliness, shame, creative blocks, fear of success, addiction issues, co-dependancy and relationship issues, fear of intimacy, anger, depression, sexual dissatisfaction... you name it.
Deserving and Permission.
Let me show you two simple skills that will change your life on every single level and you can finally deserve- and achieve -everything you've ever wanted.
Email me here: email@example.com